Showing posts with label bumiputera. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bumiputera. Show all posts

big love to trashy tabloid media // 110209

It's bad enough that the Malay race have been getting unrelenting whiplashes for the past decade or so. It's bad enough that Malays in general carry a tainted reputation dipped in controversial issues like Malay supremacy, special rights, and so many others. It's bad enough that the Malay generalised image are synonymous with laziness, narrow mindedness and several other questionable "moral values".

Now, think about this; Mangga, Hai, Harian Metro, Kosmo, Mastika, etc etc. What comes to mind? Well, what else can it be other than uncivilised, shallow, immature, degrading, morally unsound, trashy tabloid media. Far inferior to its counterparts, E-News for example, our beloved local gossip media is at least 50 years behind. Or quite possibly even more.

I flipped through a few of those aforementioned magazines and newspapers, just to check out a couple of articles they wrote about the latest craptastic news reporting on the local indie scene. And oh my god. I sat there and actually, literally, felt embarrassed. It was so fucking kampung I can't believe people actually get paid to write such trashy nonsense. And that people actually pay and bring home such literary abominations. A lowly bastard spawn of the Western gossip media, the local versions fail utterly miserably in every possible aspect. Absolutely, astonishingly, miserably. 

Talking to a few friends in the local indie scene, I gathered information that in the past few years that the local indie music scene has been picking up and supported by the mainstream media so have there been a rise in tabloid reporting of complaining, bitching, and degrading of many famous indie artistes. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those condescending idiots who support any and every local music just because it's, well, local. But, really, don't turn to a whiny Nazi child and complain, bitch, degrade, defame, spread lies and exaggerated untruths for no plausible reason about the people at the front lines that are actually doing something to contribute positively to the scene.

And that's not the best part yet. For those who aren't very tabloid media savvy, here's a pinch of the truth for you; if you don't treat the reporters like they're the Queens Of The Fucking Universe, they'll merajuk and write nasty things about you thus exposing you to a very real risk of tarnishing your image and damaging your career. If you were finger banged as a child, had acne so disgusting your bestfriends stopped talking to you, almost failed school but managed to get into a local college through either your mommy's cronies or selling your undesirable body, later miraculously passed, graduated with a certificate or a diploma, and got a job at a local tabloid media (because no other place wants you), you'd feel pretty shitty about yourself. So, what better way to boost your self-esteem and inflate some artificial ego by being a tabloid reporter and getting superstars eating out of your ass?

I mean really, how fucking low can you get? The saddest part is the fact that a very, very large majority of the tabloid reporters are Malays. The kampung tabloid media are Bumiputera owned with a large majority of Malay employees. The artistes that they write about are predominantly Malays. The people, sorry I mean morons, who fork out their hard earned cash to buy such nonsense to read (because what else would low-life scums do in their free time, no?) and later spread around useless gossips are predominantly Malays.

In short, you have narrow minded capitalist bigots writing lies to sell a flawed and immoral product to idiotic, shallow consumers who don't actually need them. And the majority of them are all Malays. And you wonder why the Malays are in such deep shit.

Remember Remember the 16th of September

Surely I'm not the only one anxiously waiting for 16th September. Or 20th September for that matter. Or am I?


Since Dato Seri Anwar Ibrahim returned to politics, I must say, things have been rather... entertaining. In the most scariest way possible. It begun, I believe, from the BERSIH rally last year. Then came the HINDRAF rally. We all know what happened on both days. Peaceful protesters armed with nothing more than a yellow t-shirt, banners and their voices met with police with full riot gear, tear gas and chemical laced water cannons. Both by which were covered extensively by local and foreign media. Attracting attention from prominent international medias like CNN, BBC, and Al-Jazeera to name a few.

The next milestone, and a milestone it was, happened on 8th March 2008. Fastforward to a few decades, you might flip Utusan Malaysia one day and find a short write up on that day under the column of Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah. Since the historic year of 1969, Barisan Nasional has never conceded it's 2/3 majority votes. The Opposition parties managed to capture over 37% of the majority votes, which translates to capturing 82 out of 222 parliamentary seats. To add salt on a bad enough wound, 5 out of 31 states was won over by the Opposition parties. It was, for lack of a better word, unprecedented.

To say Barisan Nasional faired terribly would be an extreme understatement. In the previous 2004 election, Pak Lah headed UMNO (who we all know to be the de facto ruler of Barisan Nasional thus the de facto ruler of the country) together with MCA, MIC, DAP, Gerakan, PPP, PBB, LDP and other parties from Sabah and Sarawak, and literally bulldozed through the elections to win a historic popular votes of over 90%. They won over 64% of majority votes by securing 198 out of 219 parliamentary seats.

When you compare both results from 2004 and 2008, it is even more evident how huge of a gap it really is. In that span of 4 years, Pak Lah and Barisan Nasional as a whole somehow managed to piss off the rakyat well enough to lose over 58 seats, 400,000 popular votes, 5 states and decreased the popular votes percentage from 90% to a mere 50.4%. So, can things get any worse than that? Well, of course it can. And of course it did.

On the 25th of May 2008, Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk Shahrir Ahmad announced that there will not be any fuel price hike. Twenty million sighs of relief. About one week after that, Datuk Shahrir Ahmad then said that they government plans to raise the price of fuel in August. Twenty million cusses and swears and collective shouts of "Macam sial!" and "Haram jadah!" and "Tiu!" and "Punani!" and, well, you get the picture. And then comes my favourite part. On the very next day, our beloved Prime Minister Dato Seri Abdullah Badawi cooly announces that the price of petrol will be increased to RM2.70 per litre as of midnight. Tadaa! Complete pandemonium.

With the price of oil rising, pardon me, skyrocketing, all prices of consumer goods took a turn for the worse. In such a short period of time, the overall cost of living shot up like never before. The construction industry was hit worst when the price of concerete and steel went over the roof, with the price of steel increased to over 100%. In addition, the government announced that electricity tariffs will be revised on the 1st of July. It was probably a typo on their part because they meant to say "rised" not "revised".

People started to protest, through the web and on the streets, albeit in small numbers (there were also protesters protesting against protesting during that time, which I found amusing to no end). The reverberation can be heard through mamak stalls to cubicles to classrooms and to sidewalks. As a response, the government agreed to a debate on July 15th between Dato' Shabery Cheek and Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim over the current oil price increase issue. Millions of people saw the live debate and we can all objectively judge that, with all due respect, Dato' Shabery Cheek got served by Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim. So, that didn't pan out too well for the government.

And then Raja Petra wrote an article on Malaysia Today claiming that the Deputy Prime Minister Dato' Seri Najib Razak was involved with the murder of Altantuya. And then Raja Petra got arrested, for the gazillioth time. And then Dato' Seri Najib went to Masjid Jamek to swear that he has never met nor had anything to do with Altantatuya. And then came the sodomy case against Dato' Seri Anwar. And then he went to the Turkish Embassy to sought shelter and protection. And then he said otherwise, "Oh it was only a friendly visit,". And then came the whole DNA fiasco, the police asking for it but he refused to give any sample for fear that it might be tampered with. And then Pak Lah said the DNA they obtained from him during the 1998 trial expired (well I wonder how DNA from dinosaurs who died hundreds of thousands of years ago manages to be extracted). And then Saiful Bukhari Azlan went to the mosque to swear that he really did got fudgepacked. And then later that same imam who conducted his swearing made a public statement that such swearing is not legal in Islam and that he had in fact been forced by his superiors to do it.

By that time, I burnt all my newspapers and ran to the toilet and profusely vomitted blood from over consumption of all those nauseating nonsense politics smeared all over the news. And I can't even begin talking about independent online news and amatuer political scientist wannabe blogs. It was all getting a tad bit too entertaining for me. But of course, I'm a sucker for sensational stories and followed on anyway. Nauseating, vomitting blood and all.

There were too much crap going on at that time with too many different parties going berserk, pointing fingers and shifting blame to different sides that I'm not going to bother much on the insane amount of conflicting details in between.

The most recent case involving Dato' Ahmad Ismail making racist statements, I believe, is one of the main highlights in today's local political circus. I find his actions too abhorrent to call him Dato', so I'm just going to call him Ahmad. His apparent arrogance and refusal to use any measure of common sense speaks volumes of his character. What he did was callous, irresponsible, extremely disrespectful, and downright stupid. In fact, his statements was so stupid that I can bet my pants that Dato' Seri Anwar threw him a bag of cash to say what he said. The only defense he can possibly use can be found in the claim that whatever that was said was mentioned in the context of history. Well, even that is hardly any defense because clearly he got his historical facts wrong.

Even if he really was quoting history, what is he trying to say? Is it because the fact that your great-great-great-grandparents were immigrants makes you an immigrant too, thus rendering you less special than the oh-so-special Malays? Despite the fact that you arrived in Malaysia through the womb of your mother in a local hospital, say Hospital Assunta in Petaling Jaya, and your birth certificate says you are a Malaysian citizen. Despite the fact that during pre-Merdeka days many other non-Malays also fought for independence and contributed to the well-being of our country. Despite the fact that Chinese people make up to over 30% of the population but commands over 60% of the country's economic chart. Or maybe he was just trying to tell your dead great-great-great-grandparents to get out of Malaysia? Or maybe he was telling everyone including himself to get out of the country? Because according to historical and anthropological facts, our ancestors were all immigrants.

Is he deliberately trying to incite racial conflicts and consequently spark another May 13? His actions at a time like this, all the more with showcause letters thrown to The Sun, Sin Chew Daily and Suara Keadilan and arrests under ISA of Raja Petra, Teresa Kok and the Sin Chew Reporter Tan Hoong Cheng really does cast an eeriely familiar image to Operasi Lalang. After deeply insulting and pissing off over 8 million Chinese people, who most of which have stopped supporting Barisan Nasional and reverted to the other side (as the recent 2008 General Elections did prove), wouldn't this be the time to cool the waters and do everything possible to repair the damage done? Wouldn't arresting an extremely famous and influential blogger (who have loyal followers from all races, with a sizable chunk of Chinese supporters), a popular Chinese MP, and a Chinese reporter from a Chinese daily, would ultimately piss them (and not to mention countless other people from various races as well) to no end a million times more? It could only be either stupidity at its supreme best or a political ploy. I vote the latter.

So, could Ahmad's inflammatory statements, showcause letters and detentions under ISA be small embers that the government is fanning, with hopes that it will invariably fire up racial clashes? If you remember, recently there was a statement released by the head of police that they will take action against those that will threaten the stability of the country. Well, if that ever happens, Pak Lah could easily declare a state of emergency, deploy the troops and stop Sept 16/20th to ever happen, and in doing so seize complete control over the country. For one that will be diverting attention away from all the recent political fiasco and take the limelight away from Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim. Also, how else do you take control over millions of people who oppose you? You don't use mere words, you use guns. And naturally the political rhetorics, false promises and brainwashing would come later. History, tragically at times, does repeat itself. If the worse does happen this time, let it be without blood.

And what about the 40 MPs who got sent to Taiwan literally days before 16th September to study agriculture? Isn't it such a convinient time? Why now instead of last month or rather last year? Interestingly enough, the number of MPs who got sent there almost equals the number of MPs that Dato' Seri Anwar said will cross over to Pakatan Rakyat come 16th September. At the same time, 4 representatives from Pakatan Rakyat was also sent there to study agriculture. Oh I'm sorry, I meant to say "study", not study. The best part is both parties from the Barisan Nasional and Pakatan Rakyat are staying at the same hotel. The timing of it all, and the surface facts, doesn't it all smell a little too fishy? Even Homer Simpson can sniff it from a mile away.

In between all that, we hear news that Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yasin, Tengku Razaleigh, Tan Sri Sanusi Junid, and a few others had a private meeting with Tun Mahathir to persuade the former prime minister to return to UMNO. They are hoping that Tun Mahathir's voice would be heard, to revive UMNO, unite the Malays, and persuade Pak Lah to step down. There is also talks that Tun Mahathir will be supporting Tengku Razaleigh who is planning to contest the UMNO Presidency seat soon. There is also news that Dato' Mukhriz Mahathir will be contesting the seat for UMNO Youth Leader. Tan Sri Muhyiddin has already pissed off Pak Lah by saying that he should rethink the much discussed 2010 leadership change plans. Not to mention numerous other UMNO members from the grassroots level to way up in the Cabinet calling for Pak Lah's resignation. With so much internal conflicts within UMNO, it's all too obvious that things in UMNO are really shaking up. This might just be UMNO, and Barisan Nasional's, weakest and most unstable time ever in history.

Everything that have transpired since BERSIH rally to today and taking it all into consideration, I don't blame Dato' Seri Anwar for rushing to snatch the prime minister seat. This is the best time for him to do so. Not that I support his cause in any way, by the way. It is all too obvious that he is power crazy, that he is doing everything and anything it takes to become the next Prime Minister. If not, why the rush? Why not settle in, do some good, prove yourself, show concrete results, and then contest for the next General Elections? Political talk and rhetorics can only last for so long. He has a tendency to talk differently on different matters of different political ideologies with different races of people who have different political inclination. If you want to refute that claim, talk to those who has attended all of his campaign talks. Better yet, those who has seen him talk at 3-4 various locations in a single day. If you can't find one, go and get his talks on CD or DVD. There's more than enough proof there. That in itself screams of hypocrisy and manipulation.

Not to mention when he boldly claimed that over 40 MPs have signed papers and agreed to crossover. You don't need to be a genius to see the word "bribery" stamped all over it. Everyone knows all too well how corrupted this country is, from the private sector to the government. And we all know that the most corrupted of all is in the arena of politics. It would not make any sense for a politician to make such a drastic move without being given any substantial monetary gains. Think about it. Even someone as charming and manipulative as Dato' Seri Anwar cannot in any way persuade those MPs to cross over by just moving his lips. His overseas bank accounts has to also move. Now, in today's day and age, in a country called Malaysia that is rife with corruption, how else do you convince 40 politicians to betray their own party and join an opposition party without a single cent involved? Well, say, RM50 million each to jump ship? In the end of the day, everyone has a price. And the scariest thing about corruption is that it works so well.

That's kacang putih for Dato' Seri Anwar, since over RM3 billion just recently came in from the United States from several private parties to fund his political goals. Not to mention billions of dollars of his own money, most of which are placed in offshore accounts. That piece of 3 billion dollar news is of no surprise seeing how close he has always been to the United States. He gets headline news like no other Malaysian politician. He has been interviewed, given talks and speeches, countless more times than any other local politician. Even his Permatang Pauh victory was a headline feature on CNN, as well as few other major international medias. Better yet, you can even skip all that and look at his close ties to Paul Wolfowitz. His name is synonymous with IMF, Neoconservatism, George Bush, War on Iraq, and Israel. So, go figure.

Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim is most definitely not the "cleanest" man nor politician for that matter. Since his days as Minister of Finance, he has managed to cash in billions worth of projects for himself and his cronies. There are lots of facts to this claim, if only you'd look closer. For starters, take a closer look at Agro Bank. And do I even need to begin talking about the 1998 currency crisis and how he supported IMF and tried persuading Tun Mahathir to borrow money from them to solve the country's woes? You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out.

There's a lot of boring economic facts in it which I couldn't be bothered to get into (just Google it you lazy mofo). Just look on the surface, even if you happen to be a bit daft, just look at our neighbouring countries who accepted IMF and look at those who did not and just fended off on their own in their own ways. Though of course to be objective you need a closer look at their economic strength and financial reserves. But trust me, you'll arrive at the same conclusion. That, yes, IMF would've been a catastrophic idea. And there you had Dato' Seri Anwar who happens to be the Finance Minister who happens to be close friends to the United States who happens to be the one running the show for IMF. Suspicious much?

There's a lot more that I can say about him and Parti Keadilan Rakyat. But it's already time for sahur and I should be getting to bed soon. So I'll save this political bashings for next time then. If you notice, I'm hardly biased and I don't believe in discrimination. I don't just bash one side, dua-dua pun aku hentam. What does Shakira's hips and truth have in common? Jeng jeng jeng. They both don't lie.

To be continued later at a not-so-ungodly time.

Disclaimer: I am a supporter of no other party other than my own. In my room, a disco ball, some Electrohouse, a pole and you. E-mail me, baby.

Serenity Prayer for the Pseudo Masses

There is probably nothing in the world that I loathe more than stupidity and ignorance. Handling each at a time is difficult enough. But what makes it even more stupendously difficult is that both comes in a package. You can't be stupid but not ignorant and you can't possibly be ignorant and not stupid. Can you dig it? Of course you can. You're not stupid. Or are you?

I think the problem stems from a number of disturbing, unresolved swept-under-the-carpet issues in our society. By this I don't mean the whole rainbow spectrum of our glorious multi-cultural society, I mean us. Orang Melayu. According to my birth certificate, I am a Malay. But technically, I'm not a Malay by blood. I am Indian, Chinese, Indonesian, Arab, Persian, and a whole lot more that I'd need to wake my parents up to tell me because I can't remember the rest. My memory eats itself up almost instantaneously. Anyway, moving along before I forget what to write next.

Well, we have this idiotic rule that in this country it is impossible to be Malay and not Muslim, and be a Muslim and not be a Malay. In other words, lets say the 6' 2" redhead George Swanson from Ireland converts to Islam, Encik George bin Abdullah automatically becomes a Malay. White ass, freckles and all, till death do us part, Malay. No other country in the world has a rule like that stamped for all eternity in their Federal Constitution. The thing is, what I find funny is that there is no such thing as a Malay race to begin with. Don't diss me for such a foul, blasphemous statement. Blame the anthropologists. They said so.

According to those "experts", our ancestors migration can be traced from Southern China during the Ming Dynasty roughly 6,000 years ago. You can find traces of migration from Vietnam and Cambodia to present day Kelantan. On top of that there is also migration from Southern Thailand into that state. The Minangkabaus, as we all know, are descendants of Alexander the Great and a West Indian princess. If you think I'm joking go read up your Sejarah Malaysia textbook. And if I'm right, go slap yourself and say sorry to your parents for skipping all those Sejarah classes during school.

And of course we all know that Johorians' ancestors were originally Bugis. The Bugis predominantly live on Sulawesi, but interestingly enough, they're not even Indonesians to begin with. Neither do they fall into the same group as the migrating Southern Chinese of 6,000 years ago nor the Australo Melanesian group from Africa. The Bugis are a cross-breed between the Mongolian Chinese and the wandering Arab Pirates (to all those loyal members of the anti-Johorian club, now you have a scientific fact from an anthropological viewpoint to explain your sweet hatred for Johorians). The nephew of Daeng Kemboja was appointed the first Sultan of Selangor. That makes the entire Selangor Sultanate part Arab, part Chinese.

(Oh and remember the infamous princess Hang Li Poh that married a Sultan of Malacca? Fiction. Go get busy, do some research and you won't find a "Hang" in the list of princesses during the Ming Dynasty.)

If you go back in time, there was a 2,000 year-old Hindu empire in Kedah called Langkasuka. Predating both Borrobudur and Angkor Wat. The name Kedah originated from Hindi and Sanskit words, "Kadar" and "Kidara", which means "fertile land for rice cultivation". You can find plenty of Indian influences in our so-called very Malay culture today. The terms "Sultan" and "Raja" was adopted from Indian culture. The pelamin at weddings and the snake amulet that the Sultans wear today are photostat copies of Indian tradition.

(On a separate note, it's funny that we call ourselves Bumiputeras and the rest as, well, migrants. Well aren't you forgetting something? We are all migrants, idiot. Kau tu pendatang, aku pon pendatang, bangang. Amik kau kan dah rhyme)

And also, Parameswara wasn't the first Sultan in our ridiculously short history. The first one came 1,500 years ago. Can you dig that? Of course you can. You're not stupid. Anyway, carrying on. There is also a whole set of arguments pertaining the very definition of the word "Malay". But that'll turn this nonsense post into a thesis wannabe. Maybe another day for that impossibly crazy endeavour.

So, in short. We, the Malays, are a very new race. We are infants, children in the eyes of the world, in this 6,000 years of recorded history on this 4 billion year-old earth. It's been a long time since the Mesopotamians till today's Information Age. And in a larger context of world history, the Malays have just merely begun. Post-1969 National Economic Plan was crafted with that in mind, that the Malays, the Bumiputeras, needed help. We don't have the knowledge and experience of other older cultures such as the Chinese and the Indians. We're still learning and we need help. But unfortunately, many years later, it backfired. But that's a whole other different story. Worthy of another thesis wannabe, another sorry attempt at sounding clever. Maybe another day.

It took me awhile to realise why is it that the mat sallehs, of the same age, seemed to be far more matured, experienced and exposed in almost every aspect of life. I have family scattered all around the world, but the closest ones is an Englishman an a few Australians. I've come to learn much about our differences from them. Interacting, observing, listening. And I remember feeling so stupid and ignorant. The disparity was so nauseating I could've puked on myself out of sheer self-loathing.

(Don't fret, I've met my fair share of beautifully flawed mat sallehs. Shallow, boring, complete raving idiots. Half of them can't even spell correctly in their own mother tongue.)

Generalisations are horrible. Of course they are, all generalisations are horrible. But in most cases, they are unfortunately true. It's just that most people disregard and push them aside just because they're unpleasant and politically incorrect. Of course you can argue that there are exceptions, anomalies, etc. Well hello, that's what generalisations are, you genius. A "general" viewpoint. Nothing is perfect, just so you know.

You can blame our "stupidity and ignorance" to a thousand things. Terrible education system, bad governance, being an infant pseudo race, whatever. The future might seem bleak. But I'm sure there's a way out of it. There always is. When a door slams shut and breaks your nose, a window magically opens. And maybe if the door was cheap PVC, it'll crack, and you'll find a way to pry it open. When an obstacle hinders your progress, you can either jump over it or just bulldoze through the damn thing. Or maybe both at the same time if you happen to hail from Krypton. In that case, God bless you.

We are an eclectically mixed up race of borrowed blood and borrowed cultures. I don't find anything wrong in that, nor do I have any problem with it at all. There is hardly any originality in today's world anyway, so why bother fighting a losing battle? The problem is that we are afraid of admitting the truth. For whatever stupid, stupid reasons.

We are sick and dying, and we need help. We've been drugged with complacency and childish tendencies. We are drunk with over indulgence and unnecessary pampering. We need a fucking 12-step program. We need to admit that there is a problem, seek help, engage in self-examination, make amends, help ourselves and our fellow brothers and sisters. We have to do something before our beloved pseudo ABC campur race takes a backseat and one day be something worthy of being forgotten.

This is my way of doing something, anything. With this ridiculously expensive computer I bought with daddy's money, I type out my shamelessly borrowed thoughts and borrowed unoriginal ideas and borrowed cold hard facts, hit enter, and send it warping at light speed to cyberspace with the godsend help of TMNet Streamyx, the world's most screwed up and completely unreliable internet service provider. Through sheer chance or perhaps magic, it appeared on your screen. With hopes that it maybe, just maybe, cause a twitch. A prick. A hard on. An epiphany. A ripple. Something. Anything. This is my plea. To stop being stupid. To stop being ignorant. And fucking wake up.

"God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" - Serenity Prayer, NA.

p/s: I originally wanted to write a dedication to a few "stupid and ignorant" acquaintances who have been irritating the wits out of me, albeit from afar. But irritating, nonetheless. So basically that original intention was lost after the second paragraph. I think I meandered a bit. Just a little bit. A teeny weeny bit.