fake plastic words

Surely I'm not the only one anxiously waiting for 16th September. Or 20th September for that matter. Or am I?

5:15 AM
Categories: ahmad ismail, anwar ibrahim, bersih, bumiputera, democracy, hindraf, imf, malaysia, muhyiddin yasin, najib razak, oil, pak lah, paul wolfowitz, politics, sodomy, tengku razaleigh, tun mahathir. Author: sleepwalker

I have to take my hat off to Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim.

His showmanship on tonight's Agenda Daily "Hari Ini Bentuk Kerajaan Esok Turun Harga Minyak" Debate at Balai Budaya Tun Syed Nasir, Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka was truly a work of art. He outperformed Dato' Shabery Cheek by a mile. We all know of his world-class oratory skills, and they were on full force tonight.

But that is all just surface, of course. On closer analysis, you will find that Dato' Seri Anwar used a lot of useless arguments. He has a knack of using powerful rhetorics and sensitive sentiments. Words such as "fitnah", "membantu orang miskin", "membantu nelayan", "ekonomi merosot", "rakyat merana", and many many more, were thrown in every rebuttal with reckless abandon. But of course, it wasn't just reckless, it was all part of his grand political plans. He used simple statements sprinkled with sensitive sentiments and repeated it many times to drive home his rhetorics. Anyone with half a brain who listened would've believed him to the death.

PKR's biggest weakness has always been the failure to get Malay votes. It doesn't help that Dato' Seri Anwar is close friends with Paul Wolfowitz, the former Secretary of Defense (read: Zionist, chief architect behind the War on Iraq/War on Islam) and former President of the World Bank (read: IMF). That definitely doesn't pan well with Malay Muslims. Middle class non-Bumiputeras are their largest and strongest supporters, rallying behind PKR's call for a non-sectarian, Malaysian Malaysia. Post-Mahathir times saw the masses supporting Pak Lah to the end, with almost a clean sweep during the 11th Malaysian General Election in 2004. The Malays were generally contented with Pak Lah and the ruling government at that time. PKR did not manage to sway the Malay votes in their favour. Fast forward to today, a few years of mismanagement and poor implementation of promised policies and changes by Pak Lah saw an unprecedented swing of votes. The urban middle class Malays have uttered their disappointments with the current government by voting against it. PKR, PAS and DAP walked away with a surprisingly large chunk of votes.

And then came the oil price increase. Barely months after the ruling coalition, Barisan Nasional, suffered huge losses in the recent elections. Again, the rakyat as a whole are grumbling, complaining, criticising, cussing at the 40% increase in petrol prices. Such an unpopular policy is bound to create noise and anger among the rakyat, be it Bumiputera or non-Bumiputera alike. Again, a quiet sway of votes are cast against the government, against Barisan Nasional. And then came the sodomy allegations against Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim. That, obviously, worked in his favour. Again, reminiscence of 1999, whispers of government conspiracy theories and invinsible pats on his back accompanied by sighs of "kesiaaaan dia kena aniaya, kena fitnah, kena seksa".

I believe that those events leading up to the debate has worked in his favour. The elections, petrol price increase, the sodomy case, to name a few, have all elevated his position that much more. And tonight's debate on national TV was exactly the kind of stage he needed. To throw around rhetorics, play with sensitive sentiments and tug at the hearts of the rakyat, particularly the middle and lower income grouped Malays. He understands the Malay psyche well enough to know how to toy around and manipulate it to serve his own political goals. You can see that the way he moves on the stage overwhelms the words that comes out of his mouth. His showmanship overshadows the measly facts he occasionally throws around.

If you ever studied the human body language, you would have noticed how effectively he uses that skill. Every great orator knows how to play the crowd. How to manipulate the viewers into believing in something, even though it is not based on concrete facts. The facial expression, hand expressions, intonation of voice, all play a crucial role in influencing the audience.

And if you noticed, when the both shook hands Dato' Seri Anwar's hand was placed above Dato' Shabery Cheek's, a stance of dominance. The person who wants to gain that extra psychological advantage, to exert his power, will always place his hands above the recipient's. Next time you see Pak Lah on TV, notice how his hand is always on the lower end, marking the sign of a weaker character. We all know how nice and soft he is, and that is one physical proof of his malleable characteristic.

I personally think the debate was a bad idea. In the name of democracy, freedom of speech and transparency, it was a good and important step. No doubt about it. But if you were to take a step back and analyze the current and recent political climate objectively, you'd know it wasn't a wise move by the ruling government to go ahead with the debate. Tonight was exactly the kind of stage that Dato' Seri Anwar wanted, and needed. He didn't need to take it to the streets. He didn't need yet another sodomy case. He didn't need his blog, and those thousands of other PKR supporter (or anti-BN, anti-UMNO, anti-Pak Lah) blogs. All he needed was a slot on national TV, in one of the most anticipated programs in media history, to take a stand and deliver yet another one of his infamous political speeches.

No doubt the debate was about the oil price, but he meandered so much with political talk I swear that the moderator was paid money to keep mum when he deviated from the topic. More than once, to say the least. Dato' Shabery Cheek did very well to hold his own. His closing statements, in particular, was very strong and hit home a clear, firm message to the masses. Though I do think that although it was all backed up by facts he shouldn't have personally attacked Dato' Seri Anwar too much, that was a mistake. But overall, his rebuttals were based on cold hard facts and his statements were crystal clear, free from emotional and political sentiments.

At the end of the debate, we were trapped in the building for awhile. The reporters went berserk. They were fighting and arguing against each other, pushing and shoving the crowd, throwing punches and kicks at the security guards, yelling at the cops. It was a mad house. Right outside of Dewan Bahasa the streets spilled with PKR's supporters, closely watched by police in full riot gear. I was kind of hoping for a riot to break out, just for amusement sake. But of course at the same time I hope it wouldn't, that would just be crazy.

It was a rather enjoyable night. Not as entertaining as the kedai kopi scenarios at the Parliament, but enjoyable nonetheless.

12:06 AM
Categories: dap, dato seri anwar, dato shabery cheek, debate, democracy, dewan bahasa dan pustaka, election, events, freedom of speech, malaysia, media, oil price, pak lah, pas, pkr, politics, transparency, tv. Author: sleepwalker

Isn't it ironic that those things that gives you so much pleasure and joy; pancakes and ice-cream and candy and unprotected sex and nicotine and alcohol and marijuana and ecstasy and cocaine and heroin, would inevitably kill you in the end.

Isn't it ironic how religion professes peace, love and tolerance, but yet have been the symbolic axiom and the backseat driver behind many of history's longest, bloodiest and most violent wars.

Isn't ironic that there are some part-time activists and bedroom tree-huggers who rant and write about current environmental issues plaguing the planet, that buy only unprocessed food and refrain from using plastic bags and polystyrene boxes, that participate in online petitions and street demonstrations, but yet consume their fair share of nicotine fixes, frequent clubs and guzzle down alcohol, and travel in automobiles churning carbon monoxide into the atmosphere.

Isn't ironic how there are some bands that write fiery far-left politically charged lyrics, cite Che Guevara and Bob Marley as their primary influences, throw profanities against the capitalist system and advocate for social and economic reform, but yet sell t-shirts that were made from China in sweatshop factories, sell albums that contribute to the very economic system they oppose of, and quietly fall into like minded and similar voices that tirelessly attempt to stand out and appear unique.

Isn't it ironic that the first human beings in history begun life, prospered and lived in Africa some 150,000 years ago, but yet today that very "Mother of All People" continent consists of some of the most technologically backward countries in the world, witnesses dozens of violent civil wars under the rule of tyrants and dictators, and houses some of the poorest, sickest, and most helpless people on Earth.

Isn't it ironic that oil, with its massive contribution to society in the form of fuel for automobiles and boats and aircrafts, daily consumer products, fuel for processing metal that builds today's magnificent skyscrapers, trade and export deals that churns billions of dollars in profit for oil producing countries, financially benefits hundreds of oil and gas companies that gives jobs and livelihoods to thousands of employees, but yet is one of the main contributors to today's alarming exponential rise in environmental pollution of catastrophic proportions, seen as one of the primary catalysts for many cold wars (amongst Arab states) and invasions (Iraq and Kuwait, US and Iraq, etc), that have gave birth to countless of conspiracy theories (9/11 claimed to have been planned and carried out by the CIA and the US government as an excuse to invade Iraq for oil), and have caused the deaths of thousands upon thousands of innocent men, women, children, and helpless elderly people.

Isn't it ironic how Socialist and Communist political and economic systems of the past collapsed despite the fact that they were theoretically sound, honourable, altruistic, ideal and fair, but yet the very system that survives today, Capitalism, is the only one that is in tandem with human nature, but yet we have seen more wealthy people get richer and the under privileged become ever so poorer, whereby the number of people affected poverty, famine and slavery have increased more than ever before in history.

Isn't it ironic that parents tell their children to go to school, get good grades, become an engineer or a doctor or a lawyer, find a good wife and make cute chubby babies, to follow rules and bow to societal expectations, but yet it is evident that the movers and shakers of history that have influenced and shaped our world for the better have all been mavericks that have gone against the grain of order.

Isn't it sad that for all these sad, catastrophic oxymorons of today's time, all I could do right now is to write about it here and have a sip of grape juice with a sardine sandwich while listening to Ratatat.

8:39 PM
Categories: activist, capitalism, communism, conventions, drugs, economy, global warming, irony, music, nature, oil, politics, ratatat, reflection, religion, socialism, thoughts. Author: sleepwalker

There is probably nothing in the world that I loathe more than stupidity and ignorance. Handling each at a time is difficult enough. But what makes it even more stupendously difficult is that both comes in a package. You can't be stupid but not ignorant and you can't possibly be ignorant and not stupid. Can you dig it? Of course you can. You're not stupid. Or are you?

I think the problem stems from a number of disturbing, unresolved swept-under-the-carpet issues in our society. By this I don't mean the whole rainbow spectrum of our glorious multi-cultural society, I mean us. Orang Melayu. According to my birth certificate, I am a Malay. But technically, I'm not a Malay by blood. I am Indian, Chinese, Indonesian, Arab, Persian, and a whole lot more that I'd need to wake my parents up to tell me because I can't remember the rest. My memory eats itself up almost instantaneously. Anyway, moving along before I forget what to write next.

Well, we have this idiotic rule that in this country it is impossible to be Malay and not Muslim, and be a Muslim and not be a Malay. In other words, lets say the 6' 2" redhead George Swanson from Ireland converts to Islam, Encik George bin Abdullah automatically becomes a Malay. White ass, freckles and all, till death do us part, Malay. No other country in the world has a rule like that stamped for all eternity in their Federal Constitution. The thing is, what I find funny is that there is no such thing as a Malay race to begin with. Don't diss me for such a foul, blasphemous statement. Blame the anthropologists. They said so.

According to those "experts", our ancestors migration can be traced from Southern China during the Ming Dynasty roughly 6,000 years ago. You can find traces of migration from Vietnam and Cambodia to present day Kelantan. On top of that there is also migration from Southern Thailand into that state. The Minangkabaus, as we all know, are descendants of Alexander the Great and a West Indian princess. If you think I'm joking go read up your Sejarah Malaysia textbook. And if I'm right, go slap yourself and say sorry to your parents for skipping all those Sejarah classes during school.

And of course we all know that Johorians' ancestors were originally Bugis. The Bugis predominantly live on Sulawesi, but interestingly enough, they're not even Indonesians to begin with. Neither do they fall into the same group as the migrating Southern Chinese of 6,000 years ago nor the Australo Melanesian group from Africa. The Bugis are a cross-breed between the Mongolian Chinese and the wandering Arab Pirates (to all those loyal members of the anti-Johorian club, now you have a scientific fact from an anthropological viewpoint to explain your sweet hatred for Johorians). The nephew of Daeng Kemboja was appointed the first Sultan of Selangor. That makes the entire Selangor Sultanate part Arab, part Chinese.

(Oh and remember the infamous princess Hang Li Poh that married a Sultan of Malacca? Fiction. Go get busy, do some research and you won't find a "Hang" in the list of princesses during the Ming Dynasty.)

If you go back in time, there was a 2,000 year-old Hindu empire in Kedah called Langkasuka. Predating both Borrobudur and Angkor Wat. The name Kedah originated from Hindi and Sanskit words, "Kadar" and "Kidara", which means "fertile land for rice cultivation". You can find plenty of Indian influences in our so-called very Malay culture today. The terms "Sultan" and "Raja" was adopted from Indian culture. The pelamin at weddings and the snake amulet that the Sultans wear today are photostat copies of Indian tradition.

(On a separate note, it's funny that we call ourselves Bumiputeras and the rest as, well, migrants. Well aren't you forgetting something? We are all migrants, idiot. Kau tu pendatang, aku pon pendatang, bangang. Amik kau kan dah rhyme)

And also, Parameswara wasn't the first Sultan in our ridiculously short history. The first one came 1,500 years ago. Can you dig that? Of course you can. You're not stupid. Anyway, carrying on. There is also a whole set of arguments pertaining the very definition of the word "Malay". But that'll turn this nonsense post into a thesis wannabe. Maybe another day for that impossibly crazy endeavour.

So, in short. We, the Malays, are a very new race. We are infants, children in the eyes of the world, in this 6,000 years of recorded history on this 4 billion year-old earth. It's been a long time since the Mesopotamians till today's Information Age. And in a larger context of world history, the Malays have just merely begun. Post-1969 National Economic Plan was crafted with that in mind, that the Malays, the Bumiputeras, needed help. We don't have the knowledge and experience of other older cultures such as the Chinese and the Indians. We're still learning and we need help. But unfortunately, many years later, it backfired. But that's a whole other different story. Worthy of another thesis wannabe, another sorry attempt at sounding clever. Maybe another day.

It took me awhile to realise why is it that the mat sallehs, of the same age, seemed to be far more matured, experienced and exposed in almost every aspect of life. I have family scattered all around the world, but the closest ones is an Englishman an a few Australians. I've come to learn much about our differences from them. Interacting, observing, listening. And I remember feeling so stupid and ignorant. The disparity was so nauseating I could've puked on myself out of sheer self-loathing.

(Don't fret, I've met my fair share of beautifully flawed mat sallehs. Shallow, boring, complete raving idiots. Half of them can't even spell correctly in their own mother tongue.)

Generalisations are horrible. Of course they are, all generalisations are horrible. But in most cases, they are unfortunately true. It's just that most people disregard and push them aside just because they're unpleasant and politically incorrect. Of course you can argue that there are exceptions, anomalies, etc. Well hello, that's what generalisations are, you genius. A "general" viewpoint. Nothing is perfect, just so you know.

You can blame our "stupidity and ignorance" to a thousand things. Terrible education system, bad governance, being an infant pseudo race, whatever. The future might seem bleak. But I'm sure there's a way out of it. There always is. When a door slams shut and breaks your nose, a window magically opens. And maybe if the door was cheap PVC, it'll crack, and you'll find a way to pry it open. When an obstacle hinders your progress, you can either jump over it or just bulldoze through the damn thing. Or maybe both at the same time if you happen to hail from Krypton. In that case, God bless you.

We are an eclectically mixed up race of borrowed blood and borrowed cultures. I don't find anything wrong in that, nor do I have any problem with it at all. There is hardly any originality in today's world anyway, so why bother fighting a losing battle? The problem is that we are afraid of admitting the truth. For whatever stupid, stupid reasons.

We are sick and dying, and we need help. We've been drugged with complacency and childish tendencies. We are drunk with over indulgence and unnecessary pampering. We need a fucking 12-step program. We need to admit that there is a problem, seek help, engage in self-examination, make amends, help ourselves and our fellow brothers and sisters. We have to do something before our beloved pseudo ABC campur race takes a backseat and one day be something worthy of being forgotten.

This is my way of doing something, anything. With this ridiculously expensive computer I bought with daddy's money, I type out my shamelessly borrowed thoughts and borrowed unoriginal ideas and borrowed cold hard facts, hit enter, and send it warping at light speed to cyberspace with the godsend help of TMNet Streamyx, the world's most screwed up and completely unreliable internet service provider. Through sheer chance or perhaps magic, it appeared on your screen. With hopes that it maybe, just maybe, cause a twitch. A prick. A hard on. An epiphany. A ripple. Something. Anything. This is my plea. To stop being stupid. To stop being ignorant. And fucking wake up.

"God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" - Serenity Prayer, NA.

p/s: I originally wanted to write a dedication to a few "stupid and ignorant" acquaintances who have been irritating the wits out of me, albeit from afar. But irritating, nonetheless. So basically that original intention was lost after the second paragraph. I think I meandered a bit. Just a little bit. A teeny weeny bit.

2:50 AM
Categories: anthropology, bumiputera, culture, history, ignorance, malay, malaysia, NA, narcotics anonymous, national economic plan, NEP, politics, prayer, race, rant, serenity, stupidtiy, thoughts, zeitgeist. Author: sleepwalker