fake plastic words

12:41 AM
Categories: bumiputera, gossip, hai, harian metro, indie, kosmo, magazine, malays, malaysian, mangga, mastika, media, music, newspaper, rant, scene, tabloid. Author: sleepwalker

12:55 PM
Categories: band, hilang, indie, music, sundae, youtube. Author: sleepwalker

She was sleeping when I called her. She woke up, and of all the fifty over songs in her playlist, Placebo's This Picture was playing. The call was exactly 13 minutes long and ended at 5.04am on 26-3-08.

Half of 26 is 13.
5 is after 4.
Half of 6 is 3.
The sum of 2 and 6 is 8.

Among those numbers there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8. There's no number 7. Placebo's This Picture is the 7th song in my playlist that's currently playing. I called her for the first time after we made the deal to not contact each other at 1.42am. There's no number 3. In the "13 minutes, 5.04am, 26-3-08", number 3 appears twice. So altogether there are 3 number 3s. Yuna's Dan Sebenarnya, the song I'm listening to now as I'm typing this out, is the 3rd song in my playlist. The sum of 1, 4 and 2 is 7. The number 7 is the missing number in "13 minutes, 5.04am, 26-3-08" and Placebo's This Picture is the 7th song in my playlist.

I buzzed Bing online and he's watching Numbers on AXN.

Hmm.

1:12 AM
Categories: moments, music, non-fiction, numbers, random, songs, thoughts. Author: sleepwalker

12:47 AM
Categories: lepaq cafe, live, music, showcase, telebury, witherspoon. Author: sleepwalker

This banner was done during the Buka Puasa event on 27th Sept. Warms my heart seeing this photo again :)

I can't believe I haven't signed on this yet. Kept of nyanyuk-ing.

The first group to arrive. Thank you so much for your support. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to your event :( Next time round I will I promise. I love you guys!

Inilah dia gambar orang buat kerja last minute dengan penuh gaya atas stage.

It's a modest sized place, but trust me, we have big things in store :)

"Beauty and the Beast" - Sam's very own words, not mine!

Remaja zaman sekarang... Ish ish ish. *geleng kepala*

Ray, Azrul, Zee, some hot chick, Alda, his girlfriend.

Farhan from Voce. A new up-and-coming acapella group.

Zee + Zara = BFF.

I had one of the best Saturday nights of my life. It was much, much less tiring than the previous event, but it was so much better in so many ways. The line-up was superb, the performances were full of energy, the organization was less kelam kabut, the crowd was great, and we got many feedbacks from friends, performers and random guests that they had a great time. It's an amazing feeling to have accomplished what we have in such a short span of time.

It warms my heart seeing young, talented musicians being able to do what they love and having people appreciate them. Even if the number of crowd is rather modest, but, baby steps. What matters most is that we are doing something to help them, and in a way, to help to the local independent music scene to survive and grow further. People need to know that there are places like Lepaq Cafe and that there are actually many very, very talented musicians out there.

The only reason I'm doing all of this is out of faith and passion. It's an amazing feeling to know that you're part of a bigger picture, of a bigger and important cause. That even though all you're doing are mere ripples, but you are doing something. To make a difference, to progress, to help others.

Music have always been my passion. All the more music by my own countrymen. This truly is a dream come true. Even if this is only going to be a two, three, or merely several times affair. But it will surely stay with me for all time. This is a truly special time for me. The people I've met and the experiences I've gone through in this short frame of time have been nothing short of amazing.

Here's to, hopefully, better things to come. :)

5:35 PM
Categories: acoustic raya, aidilfitri, friends, gig, lepaq cafe, live, music, showcase. Author: sleepwalker

4:32 AM
Categories: event, exhibition, hari bintang jatuh, ke hadapan bintang jatuh, MIA, mission confesison, music, photography, poetry, screening, wani ardy. Author: sleepwalker

12:48 AM
Categories: acoustic, aidilfitri, ash, gig, indie, izzy mohamed, kokokaina, lepaq cafe, live, music, ray cheong, raya, rendra zawawi, showcase, wani ardy. Author: sleepwalker

3:12 AM
Categories: art, beauty, cocorosie, hairnet paradise, love, memories, music, wanderlust. Author: sleepwalker

I had a fucking blast at Urbanscapes!

I was there since morning helping out my friends set up Young Posh & Broke's booth at Threadzoo. None of us had ever done this before, so everything was pretty damn haphazard. We brought along a printer and laptop to print the remainder of our In Case of Emergency freebies. But it ran out of paper halfway. Doink. We arranged and rearranged the tables, clothes hanger, shoe rack, and everything once every 20-30 minutes from noon till mid-day. Again, doink.

Although the event officially started at noon, people started to slowly come in around 11ish. We were terrible salespeople to say the least. Half of the time the girls were preparing unfinished In Case of Emergency freebies. The guys were just hanging out at the back, complaining of the heat, the expensive beer, and bathing our faces with ice cubes. Some of us would disappear every now and then, to get more drinks, check out other booths, snap pictures and god knows what else.

Despite all that, Young Posh & Broke was a real crowd puller. It was raining strangers on our booth from mid-day all the way into the afternoon. Artsy fartsy wannabes, punk rock kids, tudung-clad girls, aunties and uncles, and some local band members and celebrities came to check out and buy our stuff. Our booth was the loudest, thanks to Molly. It wouldn't have been the same without her really. Young Posh & Broke was the only booth that gave away freebies; old-school candies, bubbles, lighters and condoms. Random feedback later said people found them useful. Ehem. I bet. We were pleasantly surprised that the In Case of Emergency freebie tags were a hit!

All in all, we did pretty damn well. Considering the fact that Molly and Farah came up with the idea barely a couple of weeks before Urbanscapes and thought "Eh jom jual", and that half of our cap's printing came out a disaster hence forcing them to improvise and fix all of them by hand through sleepless nights, it all worked out in the end. Young Posh & Broke started out as a joke on Facebook. Molly created a group on Facebook and invited friends to join, just for the hell of it. And now, suddenly, it's a clothing label.

There are plans set in motion. With potential projects in the future, in KL and probably some place else as well, and buckets full of new ideas. There are offers to supply more trucker caps and orders all the way from Sydney have been placed. There'll also be a men's clothing line, mainly t-shirts. We have our very own domain, and hopefully will be up and running soon. It's amazing how many people are helping out Young Posh & Broke. Thanks a bunch to Brick, Opy, Zulie, Kim, Amer, Alia B, Deanna Ibrahim, Wei Chien, and others (you know who you are). Envy Magazine has also been one of our earliest silent supporters. Warms our hearts to no end, really.

We closed Young Posh & Broke's booth late in the afternoon, since almost all our stuff were sold (particularly the trucker caps) and decided to call it a day. I went on later to join some friends to enjoy the rest of the day. I didn't manage to catch the acts I wanted to see, particularly Paolo Delfino, Otam and Kokaina (the Acoustic Livehouse was crazy packed). I missed out on the screenings, I was dying to see Flower in My Pocket and Ciplak. I walked around to check out the photography and art exhibitions; They Art Studio, Creative United Movement, Lost Generation Art Space, Wondermilk, 24-Hour KL, etc.

They were also other things I missed out on. KL Poetry Slam (by Dram Projects & WordForward), Rather Peculiar Theatre, Air Con (by Shanon Shah, presented by Instant Café Theatre’s FIRSTWoRKS). Though I did manage to watch a teeny weeny bit of a play, but I'm not sure which one. I remember a large man prancing around in a baju kurung. There were also shorts, experimental and music videos curated by KLue, Cinejam and Hello Motion. I got to watch a bit of Pure Vibracion and Bittersweet. I passed by a crowd going nuts singing along and jumping and moshing around to Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit. I'm not sure who was spinning at that time. Lap Sap or maybe Twilight Action Girl?

The Threadzoo was pure madness. Some friends of mine set up shop there too, Ladyesah, Not Frumpy and Button My Buttons There was a non-stop flow of sweaty wide-eyed people in that scorching hot tent. It was nice to see a lot of enthusiastic fashionistas, girl and guys and all those in between, shopping like nobody's business, indirectly helping and supporting the burgeoning local indie fashion scene. The Marketplace also included stalls by Tongue In Chic, Bijou Bazaar, The Threads Zoo, Kraftgrafik x Lapsap REMIX Junkyard, British Council, Angkatan Baju Malaya and more. There was also a last minute mini photography exhibition done by Futuna and helped out by her boyfriend, Xumb. Her prints are fucking amazing, I kid you not.

There were some fair share of unavoidable dramas that day. Most of which I'm not even going to bother to write about. It was yet another day full of encounters with my past. I still find it amusingly odd that all of my exes were there. I spent half of the day with one ex, the other half with another one. Had a brief drama session with one. And I think I saw another one of my ex somewhere in the crowd. Occasions like these have been happening once too often. How strange. We stayed back for the last act of the day, Bass Agents. I had so much fun my cap, t-shirt, pants, underwear, socks, shoes and everything were drenched in sweat!

But of course, I can't close this entry without talking about the best part of the day. I was with Zara and my bestfriend, lying on the grass watching Bittersweet. There was this adorable little kid, with chubby cheeks and big round eyes, loitering about near us. He was running in circles headbanging to the beat of the music. Stumbled and rolled around the grass, then sat up, still headbanging. He crawled around and picked up an empty beer can. I smacked it out of his hands, and he just laughed. He crawled around again, and picked up a cigarette bud. By that time his mother (or so I think), came and picked him off. He was so adorable, doing the most unchildlike nonsense. Which makes me wonder, are those signs of an excitingly bleak future for this cute innocent kid? Full of sex, drugs and rock and roll. As of now, he is officially the coolest kid ever.

4:38 PM
Categories: art, exhibition, fashion, film, gig, indie, klpac, music, sentul, threadzoo, urbanscapes, young posh and broke. Author: sleepwalker

Isn't it ironic that those things that gives you so much pleasure and joy; pancakes and ice-cream and candy and unprotected sex and nicotine and alcohol and marijuana and ecstasy and cocaine and heroin, would inevitably kill you in the end.

Isn't it ironic how religion professes peace, love and tolerance, but yet have been the symbolic axiom and the backseat driver behind many of history's longest, bloodiest and most violent wars.

Isn't ironic that there are some part-time activists and bedroom tree-huggers who rant and write about current environmental issues plaguing the planet, that buy only unprocessed food and refrain from using plastic bags and polystyrene boxes, that participate in online petitions and street demonstrations, but yet consume their fair share of nicotine fixes, frequent clubs and guzzle down alcohol, and travel in automobiles churning carbon monoxide into the atmosphere.

Isn't ironic how there are some bands that write fiery far-left politically charged lyrics, cite Che Guevara and Bob Marley as their primary influences, throw profanities against the capitalist system and advocate for social and economic reform, but yet sell t-shirts that were made from China in sweatshop factories, sell albums that contribute to the very economic system they oppose of, and quietly fall into like minded and similar voices that tirelessly attempt to stand out and appear unique.

Isn't it ironic that the first human beings in history begun life, prospered and lived in Africa some 150,000 years ago, but yet today that very "Mother of All People" continent consists of some of the most technologically backward countries in the world, witnesses dozens of violent civil wars under the rule of tyrants and dictators, and houses some of the poorest, sickest, and most helpless people on Earth.

Isn't it ironic that oil, with its massive contribution to society in the form of fuel for automobiles and boats and aircrafts, daily consumer products, fuel for processing metal that builds today's magnificent skyscrapers, trade and export deals that churns billions of dollars in profit for oil producing countries, financially benefits hundreds of oil and gas companies that gives jobs and livelihoods to thousands of employees, but yet is one of the main contributors to today's alarming exponential rise in environmental pollution of catastrophic proportions, seen as one of the primary catalysts for many cold wars (amongst Arab states) and invasions (Iraq and Kuwait, US and Iraq, etc), that have gave birth to countless of conspiracy theories (9/11 claimed to have been planned and carried out by the CIA and the US government as an excuse to invade Iraq for oil), and have caused the deaths of thousands upon thousands of innocent men, women, children, and helpless elderly people.

Isn't it ironic how Socialist and Communist political and economic systems of the past collapsed despite the fact that they were theoretically sound, honourable, altruistic, ideal and fair, but yet the very system that survives today, Capitalism, is the only one that is in tandem with human nature, but yet we have seen more wealthy people get richer and the under privileged become ever so poorer, whereby the number of people affected poverty, famine and slavery have increased more than ever before in history.

Isn't it ironic that parents tell their children to go to school, get good grades, become an engineer or a doctor or a lawyer, find a good wife and make cute chubby babies, to follow rules and bow to societal expectations, but yet it is evident that the movers and shakers of history that have influenced and shaped our world for the better have all been mavericks that have gone against the grain of order.

Isn't it sad that for all these sad, catastrophic oxymorons of today's time, all I could do right now is to write about it here and have a sip of grape juice with a sardine sandwich while listening to Ratatat.

8:39 PM
Categories: activist, capitalism, communism, conventions, drugs, economy, global warming, irony, music, nature, oil, politics, ratatat, reflection, religion, socialism, thoughts. Author: sleepwalker

I'm listening to Battles.

They sound chaotic, with intervals of random unpredictable out of this world nonsense noise. Then there's some static, here and there, but there's also some melodic static lullabies of madness in between. Sometimes there's droning, wanking, boring moments. But it's mostly chaos. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn't.

These battles I'm crashing into are chaotic, unpredictable, droning, tiring. These are familiar times. Though under different circumstances with a variety of nauseating scenarios. It's tiring. Very tiring. When I look in the mirror I can see invisible, battered lines on my face. I can't see it, but I can feel it. Over time, it gets deeper and deeper. Till it cuts through my skin, my bones. Through my entire flesh. Cutting me in pieces, in a million pieces. Over and over again.

How long can I last in these raging battles?
How much longer can I survive?
How much more will it take till I lose everything?

I lost everything once.
I think I can take another round of it.
I may just be able to crawl out of this ever deepening hole.

For now, I'm just enjoying this darkness around me.
It's comforting.
I remember this.
I remember this.
I remember this.

I'll just listen to Battles a little bit more.
Drowning in their droning, static chaos.
It's comforting.
I remember this.
I remember this.
I remember this.

3:35 AM
Categories: battles, challenges, confusion, music, tempest, thoughts, troubles. Author: sleepwalker

I still remember the very first time I heard Bjork. It was on a winter night and I was up all night studying for a further mathematics exam. The heater was never switched on, so I had to bundle up in a heap of sweaters and made hot coffee every half an hour or so. The marble table felt painfully cold. The carpet was like sandpaper. All I could hear was the tapping sounds of my calculator and the beastly snorefest my roommate cooks up every night. There were also the occasional voice in my head repeating, "There is no such thing as ghosts, there is no such thing as ghosts, there is no such thing as ghosts". I was afraid of being alone in the dark, and I still am.

At around 3 in the morning I heard the door downstairs squeak open. It was Maddy and Bridget. They tiptoed up the stairs and said, "Aren't you suppose to be sleeping, you nut". They giggled and skipped to the kitchen with a packet of marshmallows in their hands. I secretly smiled thinking how sexy Bridget looks in her pajamas and dove back down into triple integration and imaginary numbers and a little bit of Bridget. In between the girls' giggles, the tapping calculator, and that voice saying "Chucky is not going to slice your tendon from under the table", I heard something coming from downstairs. It was a strange noise. A beautiful, strange noise.

I shoved my books aside, went downstairs and replayed the cassette over and over and over again. Her music felt otherworldly, like nothing I've ever heard of. I remember saying to myself, "What nonsense is this!". And I meant it in the best possible way. It was pure genius. It was complete bollocks. It was like a circus of faeries on crack. It was amazing.

I joined Maddy and Bridget afterwards. We talked about Bjork while cooking marshmallows over the fire stove. And I can still remember how hot Bridget looked like in those pajamas.

(7.45pm, 9th December 2007)

6:10 PM
Categories: bjork, memories, music. Author: sleepwalker

We were on the way to the surau when he told me bout his story.

He woke up one day and decided to leave.

He sold off everything he owned. House, car, furniture, some clothes, everything. With his entire life in one backpack, he set off to Europe with his then girlfriend. They travelled everywhere. Amsterdam, Paris, London, Bordeaux, Berlin, Milan, Rome, Barcelona, Granada, everywhere. They lived together hand in hand, hostels to whorehouses, streets to riverbanks. For 3 years.

For 3 whole years they survived by busking.
(He's one of the best musicians I've ever, ever met)

I wish I had that freedom. And that stupid bold blind courage. To just drop my life and run away to do whatever the hell I wanna do. Wouldn't that just be fucking out of this world insane?

"Man is free at the moment he wishes to be" - Voltaire

(circa 2007)

10:47 PM
Categories: backpacking, busking, freedom, life, music, non-fiction, stories, travels. Author: sleepwalker