A few years ago, some friends and I went downtown for a class assignment. On the way back we planned to get some DVDs to go back home and watch. We passed by a street vendor and decided to browse through. After what seemed like an hour or so, we got a bunch of stuff. Including porn. So we went home and put on the first CD. We waited and waited, and a guy come on screen. So, okay, and we waited some more. And another guy appeared. "Oh a menage a trois!", we thought. Complete oblivious fools we were, and we waited and waited like patient Buddhist monks. And suddenly, the both of them got naked and went into the bathtub. By then the rest of my friends shrieked like a bunch of high school girls and yelled in perfect unison "Shit! Gay porn!". So apparently those uber expensive "special" DVDs were fake after all. Fucking wankers.
I was pissed, to say the least. But, thankfully, I got his number. Instead of calling and screaming every profanity known to man, I waited till the next day. I went out, bought a DiGi prepaid number, added the DVD vendor's number to Friends & Family, and begun texting him.
After a few weeks of texting no less than 20-30 text messages of excerps from Bible verses, he messaged me back. "Gua cari lu punya keluarga gua bunuh semua! Pukimak lu! Lu ingat gua siapa!". And I continued on with more messages. One day, instead of getting a dial tone, I got a "The number you have dialed is not in service". Mission accomplished.
Last week, I got into an accident. Long story short, a massive trailer "bumped" into my car. On purpose. After exchanging some public theatrical display of middle fingers, we pulled over and I took down his plate number and phone number. I was having a bad week and that incident just completely fucking blew everything out of the water. But this time around I won't trouble myself like the last time with the "accidental" gay porn incident. I'll get others to do the work for me.
I'll create a profile and copy paste on a number of well-known transexual escort sites and gay dating pages. I'm also planning to go on mIRC and spread the number around a few very well-known gay channels. It's so easy to find a fuck there I shit you not. I'm thinking about about keeping that number, so in future whenever I fill out forms or in any case I need to give out my number, I'll use that number. Hence, more spamming.
Expect a lot of texts and calls from horny strangers looking for some cock. If that lorry driver happens to be single, gay and horny, he better thank me later in hell. If not, well, hopefully when I ring in a couple of months time I'd get a "Nombor yang anda dail tiada dalam perkhidmatan".
9:04 PM
Categories:
everyday,
incident,
past,
rant,
stories,
stupidity.
Author: sleepwalker
