defeatism or reality? // 180209

Maybe part of growing up, maturing and realising the realities of life turns you into a cynic. But I say, it turns you into a realist (if you're not born to be daft, green and shallow for life). It's a pretty fucking depressing state of realization to be in, really. After going through enough shit yourself you become aware of many things that earlier you were, a) too ignorant to notice, b) too immature to understand, and c) was just plain stupid to know.

You know that going through gruelling hours of academic work (half of which you despise to death, of which you know doesn't have much real use in the real working world), making your parents work (harder than they really should) to pay for your overpriced tuition fees that increases every year (not to mention the cost of living that rises at the mercy of the ever unpredictable, almost erratically fluctuating economy), and ending up with a piece of paper that you know is only a passport to the working-class world (and of course as a major self-esteem boost for you and your parents). And you know for a fact that you didn't really learn jack shit in class to prepare yourself for the real world.

You know that the first few years of working is far from easy; financially, psychologically, emotionally, physically. It takes up a lot of your time and energy, because you need to prove yourself to the bosses that you deserve to be kept in their employment roster (plus them bonuses). You can hardly save much money because it's extremely hard to put aside money when you're beginning to know how it's like to earn your own money (and also because the overall cost of living slashes your salary by at least two thirds). You start getting credit cards because that's the easiest way for you to enjoy life (without realising that you actually cannot afford them and will only incur perpetual debts that would in all probability snowball and smack you in the face real hard in the end).

You know that you need to work extra fucking hard and at times cut corners (cheating, bribing, etc., at the expense of taking a swipe at your personal principles and moral consciousness) to get to a position that has some semblance of financial security (but you know the only constants in life are death and taxes). And you know it'll take a long time, say, 10 years to get to that position. And you know that the average employee (over 95% of Malaysia's population are employees) retires at the age of 55 years old and on an average will have savings of a few hundred thousand ringgit (but only if he or she was annoyingly diligent in keeping every single spare cent) and an EPF of RM1 million ringgit. And you know that once you added in the factors; cost of living, inflation and medical care at the age of 55 years old, that that kind of money can only realistically last you for the next 3 years. 

You know that societal convention says you need to find a life partner at a certain age. By that time you'll be, say, 28 years old and probably in a position to afford a decent sized wedding and marry (hopefully for the first and last time) the person that you (presumably, because we're all blinded by love/lust/fear of being alone now aren't we) love. But because your dearest soulmate lives in Far Far Away far in that deluded pretty head of hers, she'd want a fucking grand wedding. Because, I mean, splurging on expensive stuff (nauseatingly overpriced branded items, blings, and other pretty useless things) and getting VIPs to witness the officiating of your marrige is the only way to make you feel special, no? Or it's got to be big enough that she can, for once in a lifetime, feel like a fairy tale princess (oh the joy). And it'll definitely be grand enough to set you back financially so bad that you'd probably need to get a personal loan. Thus, adding more debt to your name. Because you have no balls to say no. And it definitely won't help if there's a monster-in-law in the picture. Never mind that the money could've instead been put to better use, for example, paying for the car and house downpayment which would be a heck of a lot more sense. Who says you need money to make an occasion special and "grand"? If that's the rule you live by in life, well, all the best!

You know that raising children is possibly the toughest job you'll ever had to do. Because, I mean, you're dealing with the physical, physiological, emotional, psychological, and financial well-being of an extremely vulnerable, defenseless human being. The overall financial costs would be over the top insane. The trauma of going through the ups and downs (if ever you'll have a child like me) would be unbelievably unbearable. You know that the world is going to hell and you do your best to raise your kids to prepare them for the worst to come. And sometimes, the worst do come in the end. Sometimes children grow up to become complete screw ups, sometimes they lose intimacy with their parents and distance themselves (because they already have their own brand spanking new family), sometimes they don't turn up the way their parents hoped that they would've, sometimes you make mistakes and fuck them up for life, sometimes they become drug addicts and stabs your wife to steal her gold chain and pawn off to get some cash for a day's fix. You know, stuff like that.

You know that the planet is dying, that global warming is rearing its ugly head dramatically more so than a decade ago. You can foresee a future where the entire polar ice caps have melted, rising sea levels dramatically, freshwater would become scarce, the entire ecosystem of the world becomes completely messed up, animals habitats become disturbed and more species going extinct, the entire country of Maldives and a large part of Holland and many other major cities will go underwater, the ozone layer becomes depleted and the atmosphere gets royally fucked up, greenery (you know, the thing that gives us air to breathe) dies away one by one because there are more toxic gas and free radicals in the air than a symbiotic balance of oxygen, carbon dioxide and nitrogen to sustain life on this planet.

You know for a fact that there is enough technology, resources and financial capabilities to power the entire world using renewable energy. You know that there is enough sustainable design and technology, and that it can work. You know that at the current consumption rate, the world's oil reserve could only last, optimistically, for another 40 years. And that there are other clean, renewable energy alternatives (hydroelectric, solar, wind, wave, geothermal, etc) that collectively are much more than can power the entire planet inexhaustibly. In 2006, a geothermal energy study from MIT found that there is currently 13,000 KJ of energy in the Earth. Upon improvement of technology, over 2,000 KJ of energy would be attainable. Since the overall energy usage of the entire planet is 0.5 KJ, that figure translates to over 4,000 years of clean power. But at the same time, despite overwhelming facts and figures that point to the fact that the planet is coughing blood and that there are other viable, cleaner, cheaper alternative solutions, there are many proponents that are saying that global warming is "natural" and that it is the biggest "hoax" mankind has ever concocted. And curiously enough, most of those "experts" are from the U.S. government.

You know for a fact that you are completely powerless. That you cannot question your religious institution. That you are ruled by corrupt politicians that are driven by money and power. That you are living within a political system that is foolishly outdated and an economic system based on selfishness and greed. And you know that the current system we live in perpetuates elitism, bigotry, corruption, hatred, prejudice, poverty, hunger, and war. You know for a fact that the mainstream media is controlled by influential politicians, and that a large majority of the so-called "news" are either filtered, intentionally designed and engineered, or are just based on negative, sensational news (irregardless of the fact that they might be morally wrong to publish such stories).

You know for a fact that the entire world's economy is controlled by a handful of people from a handful of privately owned companies. That there exists a group of people, so powerful that they can topple entire governments in order to serve their own needs and to further on their agenda. That companies such as General Electric, Walmart, Exxon Mobil, Ford Motor, Daimler Chrysler, are economically more powerful than Poland, Norway, Indonesia, South Africa, Saudi Arabia, Finland, Greece, Thailand, and plenty others. And that interestingly enough, over 50 (or 29, whichever number you prefer) of the top 100 most powerful economies in the world are U.S. based privately owned companies.

You know that the economy of the world is controlled and influenced by the U.S. government, the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund and the World Trade Organization. All of which are, curiously enough, linked very strongly to the Jewish lobby of the U.S. government. And of course you know that 96% world's media corporations (Walt Disney, ABC, CBS, NBC, Time Warner Communications, New Yorker, Vogue, Mademoiselle, Glamour, Vanity Fair, Gentlemen's Quarterly, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Random House, Simon & Schulster, Time Inc. Books, Western Publishing, etc etc etc.) are all Jewish owned. And the West actually got pissed off when Tun Mahathir said that "the Jews rule the world by proxy". Pfft. Makan cili, terasalah pedasnya.

You know that the Federal Reserve Bank (a government entity with private components) that supplies money to the U.S. government are owned and run by Jews. That the creation and function of The Fed is an extremely suspicious and questionable matter, to say the very least. And you know of its close ties to the U.S. government, to certain highly influential politicians, to the banking cartels, and of course, to weapons development mega corporations (read: Halliburton).

You know, of course, for a fact that money rules the world. At least in today's world. Those who control money (or rather, monetary politics) controls the world. And thus, you can conclude that the world's socio-economic well-being (or demise, for that matter) is in the hands of a handful of mega corporations within the media and the banking cartels. Those mega corporations, together, are more powerful than the world's religious, political and military institutions all put together. You know that in the end of the day, the world is a business. And that in that business, you have no say, no control and no power over it.

You realise that there is only so much you can do. And on a grander scale, that is really almost next to nothing. And if you think I'm just being a nihilist, ultra-leftist, deluded, ignorant jack ass, just... well, Google-lah. The evidence is everywhere.

So, what do you do now that you're aware of all these terrible terrible lies/facts/random nonsense? Well, based on my extensively detailed research, there are a couple of doable solutions and plausible options:

1. Become a hobo, embrace frivolity, drink every day and die under a bridge.
2. Become a hippie, live by the beach, smoke weed every day, and die with a smile on your face.

The choice is in your hands. Just take it and go.

"The world is run by one million evil men, then million stupid men, and a hundred million cowards. The evil men are the power - the rich men, and the politicians, and the fanatics of religion - whose decisions rule the world. These are only one million of them, the truly evil men, in the whole world. The very rich and the very powerful, whose decisions really count. The stupid men, who number ten million, are the soldiers and policemen who enforce the rule of the evil men. They are the standing armies of twelve key countries, and the police forces of those and twenty more. In total, there are only ten million of them with any real power or consequences. They are, often brave, I'm sure, but they are stupid, too, because they give their lives and blood as mere chess pieces. Those governments always betray them or let them down or abandon them, in the long run. Nations neglets no men more shamefully than the heroes of their wars. And the hundred million cowards, they are the bureaucrats and paper shufflers and pen-pushers who permit the rule of the evil men, and look the other way. They are the head of this department, and the secretary of that committee, and the president of the other association. They are managers, and officials, and mayors, and officers of the court. They always defend themselves by saying that they are just following orders, or just doing their job, and it's nothing personal, and if they don't do it, someone else surely will. They are the hundred million cowards who know what is going on, but say nothing, while they sign the paper that puts one men before the firing squad, or condemns one million men to the slower death of a famine. This formula - the one million, the ten million, the hundred million - this is the real truth of all politics. Marx was wrong. It is not a question of classes, you see, because all the classes are in the hands of this tiny few. This set of numbers is the cause of empire and rebellion. This is the formula that has generated our civilisation for the last ten thousand years. This built the pyramids. This launched your Crusades. This put the world at war, and this formula has the power to impose peace". - A.G.