Showing posts with label wanderlust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wanderlust. Show all posts

Burn the Blue Eyes




How could such a simple song played by two girls with just a harp, a kazoo and a children's toy sound so effortlessly amazing. The words are barely comprehensible. The lyrics are absolutely bizarre. The music screams of melancholy. Their almost-falsetto, raspy voice weave such carefree yet superbly serene Daedalian sounds.

When you throw all of those eclectic mixture of seemingly unconventional nonsensical elements together...

How could it not leave you completely dumbstruck with unutterable emotions.
How could it not stir whirlpools of blood, rushing through your tired veins.
How could it not raise your hair like thorns on a rose.
How could it not silent your inner turmoils.
How could it not titillate your fragile spine.
How could it not move you to paradise,
even for a fleeting moment.

How could it not tie your heartstrings together in such convoluted beauty,
in the most captivating manner possible.

But...

Isn't it odd that someone could feel so much pain and anguish over something so profoundly beautiful. That he would listen to the very song that would literally choke him with invisible tears. His heart cries blood, imagining what might have been, what have transpired, and the frightening thought of an uncertain future.

With trembling fingers, he types these all too familiar words of misery. Trying so hard to let out those trapped emotions onto this superficial public space for the world to witness, with hopes that expressing in complete honest nakedness that these cries could somehow miraculously silent his dysphoria. He tries, and tries, and tries, to find solace in this song that inflames bittersweet memories of her. The lovely melody of the harp, those almost-falsetto raspy voice, plays on repeat for what seems like an eternity.

And eternity it is, because in life some wounds just refuse to heal. Our tangible skin would wither away to ashes, but the intangible pain remains. Completely defiant against time, it remains. As it is yesterday, as it is now, as it is tomorrow, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

With trembling fingers, he types these ever so familiar words of misery. Because misery is a butterfly. He tries, so hard, to convince himself that within this wretched cocoon that something better might blossom in time to come. It's dreary outside, but come tomorrow the sun will slowly but surely chase away the darkness. Maybe it will be a pleasant morning, with a slight cool drizzle of sweet acid rain, and maybe after which a rainbow might appear and colour the sky pastel.

With trembling fingers, he types these foolish words, and tries to not black out again and in process burn the cigarette on his fingers, yet again. We do foolish things in the name of love. But we do even more stupendously foolish nonsense in the name of sorrow. Being stupid for the sake of being stupid is stupid enough. But being stupid because of someone else would render the word 'stupid' completely inane, because a word for such profound stupidity doesn't even exist in the dictionary.

With trembling fingers, he types, "I am such a fool".

Eyes Wide Shut

The soft wind serenades the trees to a gentle sway of a lullaby. Leaves flutter relentlessly like trapped tiny butterflies. The mixture of loud chattering and soft murmurs drowns the distant noise of cars and motorcycles tearing the asphalt. Such are the sounds that make the urban music of our beloved concrete jungle.

I listen to it everyday. While lumbering down the pavement, sitting silently at my desk, or having lunch downstairs at the café. They help to fill up time and keep my curious mind busy. They accompany me during those solitary hours at lunch when I am alone and left to my ever wandering thoughts. Everyday is the same routine. I leave office at 2.00pm and waste away two nonconstructive hours on cigarettes. I light up a stick, inhale to the very depths of my charcoal lungs and gaze at the swirling dance of the cancerous smoke as I ponder on my latest project’s impending dateline, vanilla ice-cream and the mysteries of the universe.

Excuse me. Do you mind smoking some place else? This place is crowded enough with people. I don’t need second-hand smoke to crowd it even more.”

Her lips curled and her angry eyes stared long and hard at me. I winked at her and turned around. As I was walking away I caught a glimpse of her through the corner of my eyes. She was still looking at me with those eyes. I shrugged it off and continued walking out of the café.

She walked away in a scurry and headed to the entrance. I gazed at her curvy silhouette gracefully sneaking into the building. Her long, flowing black ribbons of hair danced at every step. As the door slowly closed, she turned. I winked at her and waved her goodbye.

My eyes were still shut. I listened intently to the urban music. Sounds of the streets. Conversations of strangers. The noise of scavenging crows and hungry cats. I pushed my plate away, took one last sip and lit up a stick. As I was walking out of the building I wondered whether such imaginary incidences will ever occur. I thought about Angry Anne. Confused but cute, with a shade of mysterious beauty. I was beginning to miss her. I long for such brief, nonsensical adventures. Even if it lasts for 10 minutes, nevertheless, that is all I need to escape the monotony of this dull, predictable life. All I need is 10 minutes.

That’s all I need.

(circa 2007)